Would you like to know what it feels like to experience a plague of Biblical proportions? Then come to Northeast Ohio and spend some quality time with the midges. Sure, they might not be locusts and they are rather entertaining while engaged in harassing Yankees players, but for the love of all that is good, could the PLEASE just go away????

In order to get to my car in the morning, I have to fight through swarms of the evil little things. Our garage is full of them. My car is full of them. Our house is full of them. And lest you think that perhaps I am indulging in a little melodrama to spice up an otherwise standard Tuesday afternoon, I offer you proof of just how out of hand the midges have gotten:

MidgeDo you see that?! Those are hundreds upon hundreds of midge carcasses. And lest you think that we are just getting lazy around the fifi house (slash are becoming increasingly terrified of going outside), my dad powerwashed the driveway Sunday night, less than 48 hours ago. Even the cats are refusing to go outside, it’s that bad.

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