Background: I got a call this evening from my friend Jill in which she was basically like “Dude. Your brother is dead. Go on facebook ASAP” (Jill is friends with the Bro on facebook). I do, because if nothing else, I enjoy a little sibling schadenfreude from time to time and discover that the Bro has posted pictures of him and his friends playing beer pong (or beirut as we called it in college) when he has specifically been forbidden to have people in the house/parties (my parents know the Bro will drink and allow it under controlled circumstances, but are pretty much on the your-friends-can’t-drink-here-until-everyone-is-21 train). That’s not the best part though. The parentals will be very angry about this (trust issues and such), but not like they will be about the next part. They were playing beer pong directly (i.e. with no towels/tablecloth/etc) on the parentals’ formal dining room table which sits on very lovely, pretty new-ish hardwood floors.*

Background, pt. 2: The Madre is on facebook. Supposedly for work, but anyone who knows mothers anywhere knows that she does a fair amount of checking up on the Bro. And me, most likely.


fifi: You need to pull down those pictures from facebook before Mom sees them and kills you.

The Bro: Which pictures? (The fact that he has to ask this should tell you something about what he posts on facebook. A highlight from before this was when he posted pictures of him and his friends on their way back from Canada where they had purchased fake ids, titled “Us on the way back from Canada with our fake ids.” Kid’s a genius, clearly).

fifi: The ones of you all playing flip cup on the dining room table. (Okay, I know. I knew it was beirut, but “flip cup” came out. I am clearly old/burnt out from the practice MBE this morning).

The Bro: (said with the dripping disdain that only an extremely annoying younger sibling can manage) It was beer pong. DUH.

fifi: AND…I abandon you to your fate.

*I have checked and the Bro/girls he conned into helping clean up did a decent job of cleaning up. No stains, but some definite sticky areas that I would have dealt with, except for the new “abandoning to fate” policy.