October 2009

God, I don’t want to be here. I want to be home.

Shit is about to hit the fan and I am too tired to deal with it.


The parentals and I spent the weekend down at OSU with the Bro for Parents’ Weekend. As I have no life, I got to tag along (stadium tour! Woot!). Before we left, the Madre made up a huge batch of chili and brownies and other goodies for the boys. I decided at that point to be a good big sister and go pick up some beer to add to the mix. The Madre was not a fan of this plan.

the Madre: Why would you get them beer? They probably already have beer. They probably don’t want more beer.

fifi: Have you met college boys? They never have enough beer.

the Madre: Call your brother and make sure he even wants beer.

fifi: You are kidding, no?

the Madre:

fifi: You are nuts.

5 minutes later…

the Madre: Well? What did he say?

fifi: That you are nuts. And he wants the beer. SHOCKING.

Things that just aren’t happening in fifi-ville, installment 1:

I am on facebook and I see that the boyfriend’s sister has changed her last name, post wedding. Which is totally her prerogative to do, of course. I do have lots of friends who have changed their names post-marriage, and, really, if that’s what you want to do, more power to you. But seeing this, for whatever reason, just made me realize that this is something I will never, ever, ever be doing. I might hyphenate. But I am not giving up my name.

Note: This has actually come up with the boyfriend and it is a massive sore spot with him because he is of the opinion that wives should ALWAYS take their husbands’ last names. Again, he is entitled to his opinion. But it’s not happening.

But what else is new?

Things are kind of in turmoil on this end of the blog. There’s more than this, but the biggest issue is that I start work in under 2 weeks and I have nowhere to live. I have pounded the pavement, looked at a ton of apartments, wasted 9 days, and…nothing. Nada. Zilch.

I helped the boyfriend search for his current apartment (which, for the record, I actually found so I am seriously considering evicting him and taking ownership) and it was not a fun experience so I had an idea of how much this would suck this time around going in. That said, we found his apartment in Spring ’08 when the market was much different than it is now (example: boyfriend signed his lease for 1 year, paying $2200/month for a jr. one bedroom in which the “bedroom” and “living room” are 17′ by 10′ TOTAL. He is now paying $1800/month. Much more reasonable. FOR NEW YORK) and I really thought I’d have better luck this go round. Instead, I’m seeing the same crappy apartments we saw then (literally THE SAME APARTMENTS). I tried using a broker that a friend recommended, but that didn’t work out because, despite me telling him “absolutely nothing above 34th or on or east of 2nd” (because 2nd in this area is pretty sketch, people), he keeps sending me emails with “great” apartments for $2500/month on 39th and 2nd. Awesome.

Yesterday, he upped the ante by saying he placed one of my soon to be colleagues in a building on 38th and 1st. Because clearly that will entice me to take an over-priced apartment in a location I do not want to live in. FAIL.

However, I am a soon-to-be 27 year old soon-to-be lawyer starting her career with nowhere to live. I suspect that is an even bigger FAIL (let us just say that the parentals are none-to-thrilled about this turn of events because, in part, the current plan is for me to stay with the boyfriend until I find a place and “what will the pure and innocent Bro think about his jezebel sister shacking up with her boyfriend before marriage???”*^). At this point, I want to hole up in my room in my parents’ house, beg the firm to let me work from here, and never ever leave.


*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This is the boy who was dating at least 2 girls at once this summer. I don’t think me crashing with the boyfriend is going to corrupt his morals, but that’s just me.

^Interestingly enough, what the parentals don’t understand is that neither the boyfriend nor I are particularly thrilled about this turn of events, but that is another post for another time.