I said I wasn’t going to do this, but I find myself with some time to kill and fingers that are not entirely cramped up from spending the past few hours furiously blackberry-ing away. This whole getting stranded in Philly thing has kind of been the way my whole 2009 has been. Fine. Okay. I know some people for whom this was the most wonderful and bestest year ever, but I have to hope I have better years. Not that anything truly bad happened, but I would prefer more joy in my life if I am allowed to ask for such things. This year was not great, not horrible, just fine. I mean, back to the whole airport example, the getting stranded was annoying, but if it had to happen on a leg of the trip, this was the leg for it to happen on. And I am on the plane now, so WOOT. It evens out.

There were obviously some very good things in 2009 – namely, I graduated from law school and I passed the bar, two things which I am extremely proud of. I also started this blog, which is a big step for me since I’ve talked about doing so for awhile, but never actually got up the motivation to do. I started my job and started getting nice regular paychecks AND I generally like what I do, even if it is stressful sometimes. Work is a little frustrating because there’s not a ton of it in what I want to do to go around. A close friend of mine got lucky and got staffed to the hot project of the year and as a result, she is absolutely a rising star and going places. I’m very happy for her, of course, but it also makes me worry that I’m not a rising star and just worry about work generally, even though I know I shouldn’t. It’s not that my friend is not incredibly awesome, because she is and she totally deserves this, but this was also a case of her being in the exact right place at the right time and even though I know she is the only one of us out of fifty with these things happening, I still stress about not being that awesome and by extension my future at work. I know everyone in the legal industry is stressed about work and hours right now and part of that is the economy. I’m also lucky enough to be at a firm that is, while not doing great-none of them are-is doing okay and better by far than most. Still, though, I worry. And worrying about things I really can’t control was not a great way to close out the decade.

Moving on, I moved to New York this year, which is exciting, but I have some mixed feelings about and I also got to live at home for four months which was awesome and helped me realize that eventually I want to go home and live there because being ten hours from my family is not really doing it for me anymore. But for right now, it is fun to be in the city.

2009 was also the year where the boyfriend and I started to question whether or not this thing we’re doing is going to work long term. We’ve been in a holding pattern for awhile right now and, if things continue the way they are, I don’t know that this is still going to be what we both want. I guess that is for 2010 to determine. We shall see…

2009 was long, and parts of it were hard, and frankly, it made me tired. It was kind of like this: while at the airport, I noticed that the knee of a pair of my favorite jeans wore through. Annoying, but it can be fixed and, ultimately, it will be fine. Fine years are, of course, better than not-fine years and I will take them anytime, given the alternative. That said, I do hope for good in 2010 and good for the next decade. Now we just have to wait and see what happens next.

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