Friends


And I’m DONE! I think the final went pretty well yesterday, but it was incredibly long so by the time it was all over and done all I had the energy to do last night was sit on the couch and watch the Amazing Race finale from Sunday with my friend D and drink beers. The last couple of days are also really catching up with me – I didn’t sleep well Sunday night because of the standard “what if I sleep through my alarm and miss my exam” panic (never-you-mind that my exam was at 1:30) and last night I couldn’t fall asleep because, despite the beers, I was still all hyped up with exam adrenaline. So now I’m tired. I wanted to go to yoga tonight, but I’m not sure that I’m going to leave work in time. 

I remembered Sunday night that I had an update on the Q situation for you all that I find quite amusing/disturbing, but I had already posted, what?, 3 times on Sunday and decided I should make some pretense of actually studying. Although he has still not told M of his intention to break up with her, he is apparently acting not only like they have broken up and started doing so right around when he told the boyfriend of his decision, but also is acting like M broke up with him. When Q was visiting the boyfriend he and the boyfriend went to the same bar that we went to with the boyfriend’s ex-office mate Friday night. When we were there, the same bartender was there and came over to ask about Q – turns out Q spent the whole night flirting with her. In addition, he annoyed everyone in the bar by hijacking the jukebox to play maudlin “breakup music” all night (including repeating certain songs as he felt he needed them). Apparently Stevie Nicks is the only woman that truly understands Q – and Silver Springs is the only song that truly speaks to where Q is now. Awesome. Poor M.

So the boyfriend and I were talking more last night about the Q/M thing (because it’s really two bad because M is very sweet and nice and all of Q’s previous girlfriends have been horrible bitches to him – he seems drawn to women that will cheat on him or use him to cheat on their husbands who are overseas in Iraq and he will only find out when said soldier hubby gets back and decides to hunt Q down). Apparently, my concern over the facebook pictures was totally unwarranted (My line of thinking was that if he was going to dump her immediately, it would suck to have happy pics of them taunting her from facebook. Although I suppose there are many, many happy pictures of them on facebook so that is going to be a problem even without my recent contributions). Anyway, turns out that even though Q has decided that even if he loves M, he’s not in love with her and that they should break up, it’s a really uncomfortable thing for him to bring up, so he’s just going to wait until she suggests that they move in together and then drop the bomb on her because she will have opened the door to talking about their relationship. This is not theoretical – Q knows M’s lease is up in a few weeks and she has been dropping hints, so he’s just going to wait it out. Which, although I like Q, just plain sucks. I tried to convey that to the boyfriend – that perhaps if Q feels this way, then it might be better to make the break now, instead of lulling her into thinking that he’s going to be all: of course let’s move in together! when in reality he’s going to be like: not only do I not want to live with you, but I think we need to break up – but the boyfriend was firmly on Q’s side of putting off the unpleasantness until M forces the topic. Poor girl. 

Of course, even though Q has decided that he is, for all intents and purposes done with the relationship, he’ll still play along and (this is assumed – I’m not THAT nosy!) still have sex with M. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a guy friend of mine, B, a few months ago. B is a serial monogamist, but it seemed like this most recent girlfriend might be the one. So I was pretty surprised when he said they broke up. Turns out that she had been dropping hints about getting married and he realized he didn’t want to marry her. Okay, fair enough. So he told her that, but then was shocked that she dumped him (apparently he told her that even though he didn’t see a future for them, they were having fun now (i.e. he was happy getting laid) so there was no reason to break things off). 

I have to say that I do sometimes worry about this phenomenon with the boyfriend. We’ve been dating for a pretty considerable amount of time (I’ll tell the story of us in my intro post which I promise will go up sometime in the near future), long enough that we’ve been getting questions about when we’re going to get married for at least 2 years now. While I myself am still quite youthful, the boyfriend is getting old so sometimes I do wonder if he’s still in the relationship less because he loves and adores me and more because he’s afraid of having to start over. I’m not one of those girls that is dying to get married and constantly harassing the boyfriend to go buy a ring, but sometimes I wonder why when we’ve been together for so long, he still doesn’t know if I’m the one (he “loves me so much” but is still trying to figure out what he wants – this is a very oversimplified telling of the story and I’m sure we’ll come back to this later, so lest you all think I’m delusional and being strung along, please know that that is not the case and it is all a bit more complicated than that), when we both have friends who meet and are married within a year. I don’t want to get married now, but it might be nice to be asked.  

 

*Note: I know you can never know what goes on in somebody’s else relationship and my relationship with the boyfriend can be pretty weird in its own way, but knowing Q, I definitely am getting the vibe that this is a “grass is greener” situation. Basically, even though M is smart and nice, I think he thinks he can do better. So if you know any supermodels interested in a sarcastic 5’5″ manboy, please point them my way so I can send them on to Q.

**Note 2: This is not idle speculation on my part. This is perhaps not giving you all the best impression of the boyfriend and I promise he is fundamentally a very good guy, but one of their friends, E,  (not an inner circle friend, but a friend nonetheless) has been dating a girl for over a year that NO ONE has ever met because he doesn’t think she’s pretty enough. It’s very SATC, secret sex, except for the fact that they actually live together. All the boys claim they think its shady and E’s an ass, but then they laugh about him being shady and an ass. It should also be added that E is no Brad Pitt himself.

About 2 weeks ago the boyfriend and I went to a baseball game with some friends including a friend couple, Q&M. The boyfriend (who will get a better introduction when I get around to writing that everything-you-need-to-know post) has been friends with Q since college. This is a long time considering that the boyfriend is practically ancient (just kidding! He’s only 30. Or am I kidding…). Anyway, Q moved away for a couple of years to get his master’s during which he met M and they started dating. They’ve been together probably 2 1/2 – 3 years now. 

Anyway, the boyfriend had mentioned a few months ago that he thought that Q was perhaps falling a little out of love with M (as evidenced by the fact that Q was refusing to move in with M), but it never came up again and they stayed together and were even talking a bit about moving to another city together. 

Back to the present, we all go to the baseball game, much fun is had, and we take lots of pictures which I promise to paste on facebook but don’t get around to pasting on facebook until today because HELLO? busy week. Q was visiting the boyfriend this weekend and the boyfriend just called to tell me that my timing is impeccable because Q has decided actually he doesn’t love M anymore and is going to break up with her, likely in the very, very new future. And now I have posted all of these happy couple pics online that M has tagged herself in and that are all over feeds and profile pages and all that fun stuff. 

And now I feel bad, but obviously can’t do anything because, talk about making a bad situation worse. I really wish the boyfriend had not decided to share this with me.