Small Children

That’s a good way to start off a post, no?

The boyfriend’s sister-in-law and brother had a baby last week. Everyone of course is thrilled, except perhaps for the newly annointed big sister (“Uncle Boyfriend. You take baby home.”) and he is very cute and sweet as babies generally are. So this is all very exciting and a happy time.

But the boyfriend’s sister took it upon herself to post 50 of the pictures she took at the hospital when they all went to meet the baby on facebook. Which is nice and all, but shouldn’t the parents get to do that? The boyfriend’s sister-in-law is all about facebook so I can’t imagine she’s going to be thrilled about this. Especially now because the boyfriend’s sister is now getting congratulations from both friends and family, i.e. “Congratulations Aunt Stephanie. He’s adorable!”

I mean, he IS extremely cute but Stephanie really gets no credit for that, right? I find it weird.

Remember when I introduced you to the family and baby T? And I said that F, her father and my cousin, in his new-father, over-exuberance for sharing masses and masses of pictures of his new spawn, seemed to be posting a lot of pictures of her crying? And I thought that he really needed to put on his editing hat because people want cute pictures of babies and there was no conceivable way that she cries that much?

Right. Shows you how much I know. 

The Bro and I went over to visit F, K, and baby T (coincidence that her name starts with a T and the word “tyrant” starts with a T? I think not*) and the first thing the Bro said to me (with wide eyes full of shock and horror) post-visit when we were safely ensconced in the car, ears ringing was: Are all babies that angry?

Clearly the poor thing is having some gas/colic/reflux issues because apparently when she is not sleeping this is all she does. According to the Madre, I also had the same issues as a baby, but was given medication by my pediatrician and all was good. F and K apparently asked their doctor about medication since poor T is obviously completely miserable whenever she is awake, but somehow came away thinking that these issues are just because T is relatively new to the world and therefore her stomach is relatively new to food. She is 2 months old – I can’t imagine there is that much of an adjustment period! But what do I know, really?  The doctor did tell them that they should bicycle her legs to help her, but F and K are convinced that T is too strong for them to do this to and so have not been doing that either. She weighs 9 pounds.  

There seem to be some contributing issues as well to add to T’s rage: When she woke up, she was clearly (I say “clearly” with such arrogance considering I have no children, but having spent large and extensive chunks of time in the last year with Z, the best godbaby ever, and the Munchin, as well as with H, the boyfriend’s niece, I have some clue) in need of a diaper change, but F was so excited to bring her out to meet us, he forgot. When he handed her to me, I could feel her diaper, but was in that awkward this-is-not-my-kid-and-it-would-probably-be-pretty-annoying-to-you-if-I-said-anything place. She also seemed pretty darn hungry, considering that she was trying to eat my shirt, but K thought that since T ate pre-nap, she couldn’t be hungry yet. 

She did stop crying for about 5 minutes when I was holding her and she had discovered my shirt was darn tasty, but then she spit up all over me. The Bro keeps telling people about this with a voice of awe: T threw up all over fifi and fifi just kept talking like it was no big deal. She didn’t even flinch!!!

I am lucky that the Bro is so easy to impress. He was cracking me up about the whole thing on the ride home with gems like:

Do all babies have such bad breath? (dude, she just spit up – of course, her breath is not fresh and lovely) Can you give them mouthwash or something to deal with that? (Note to Self: do not suggest that the Bro offer to babysit for F and K).


So she seemed kind of less mad when you were holding her (I had her up on my shoulder) and I wanted to hold her that way too (he did the traditional cradle hold – I have a great picture – she is screaming (shocker) and he looks TERRIFIED) but then I thought that she threw up on you when you were holding her like that and I didn’t want her to throw up on me (the Bro – always a giver). 

*Note: Obviously T is not an intentional tyrant (for now) and I am sure that she is going to be lovely and sweet as soon as they can figure out some good rhythms and schedules and address these digestive issues.