The Boyfriend has taken to sleeping on his back as of late. I have no idea why- I never ever ever sleep on my back so I find this new sleeping position odd, but whatever. He’s not been getting a lot of sleep as of late, so, of course, I want him to get the best sleep possible.

HOWEVER.

When he sleeps on his back, he snores. And by snores, I mean SNORES. I’ve been waking up two or three times a night, which is not good for my quality of sleep. Initially, subtle “accidental” pokes were enough to get him to roll over without waking him up, but as of late, he seems to have grown immune to these and it pretty much takes either pulling the pillow out from under his head (what?) or shoving him hard (again, like you wouldn’t) to get it to stop. Which, of course, wakes him up and makes him rather cranky.

So the question is: is it better for just one of us to be awake and suffering (SNORING people SNORING) or should we both be awake, but with a chance of falling back asleep? Or, of course, there is always the option of throwing a blanket or something over his face and seeing what happens. (What? You put the stuffed tiger on your own face. Seriously.).

Sigh. Maybe it is just time to break out the tylenol pm.

So the Boyfriend is home right now for the first night in several nights. Yesterday when I was out on Long Island returning the moving truck with his parents I picked up an order of penne alla vodka and some rice balls at a place we like for him to have for dinner.

He told me when he got home that he could not engage in banal conversation with me because he just has too much on his mind. I have been reading on the couch while he ate and played around on his computer.

He just asked me if I was upset about something (I wasn’t) because I haven’t offered to do anything for him to “make his life easier.” By this, I infer that he means heat up his dinner for him, do his dishes and rub his shoulders for more than the five minutes I did (I prob. could have rubbed longer but his dinner was ready.

I am seething right now. We have groceries because I bought them yesterday. We have water because I picked it up. The apartment is clean because I cleaned it Friday night after I got home from work. We will have clean laundry tomorrow because I will do it, just like I’ve done it by myself for the last three weeks. Obviously I do these things to contribute to our life in the apartment and not to get thanked or keep score.

But seriously? I don’t think I’m a bad girlfriend because I didn’t heat his dinner up for him.

So the truck has been loaded and the Boyfriend et. al. are in transit from the G.C. I have completed my Very Important dual duties of “Requester of the Keys” (I had to show I’d and everything!) and “Inspector of the Apartment” and am now just hanging out in the lobby waiting for the assorted troops to arrive.

You may be curious as to why the Boyfriend’s Sister is not, say, inspecting her own apartment and that would be because she is not actually going to be present for said Big Move as she has been in Miami all weekend for work and is scheduled to land in Newark at about 3:00 at which point, barring any unexpected incidents/I find out we are actually also expected to unpack everything as well, the Big Move should be complete.

Some people might, I don’t know, wait to schedule their move for a day when they are actually around to MOVE, but the Boyfriend’s Sister does not roll that way. Instead, her big contribution was to send around a powerpoint “presentation” (Can you call one single lonely ppt slide a presentation? I think no.) Detailing what time we all needed to arrive and what we needed to be doing at different times. I kid you not. Highlights include:

10:30 – fifi arrives at apartment
10:40 – fifi begins apartment inspection

And my personal favorite:

10:15 – Boyfriend’s Sister boards plane in Miami

Specialness.

Anyway, the Boyfriend thought this was all clever and awesome as evidenced by his “My sister is so good at organizing! Look at this awesome powerpoint presentation she made to help us!” email he used to circulate the ppt.

I forwarded it to my mother. She emailed back that she was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe. She may be full of awesome, the Madre is, but she is not always full of empathy. Particularly when it is related to ridiculous situations the Boyfriend’s Sister gets us into.

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Update: Shortly after I finished that paragraph, the Boyfriend’s Cousin and his wife showed up to help so I was forced to pack away the snark. The Boyfriend’s Sister ended up getting in around 1:30 as we were finishing up and was her usual cheerful self and proceeded to be bratty to her mother who was innocently trying to help organize things. (MA! Ugh. That is NOT where I want that box. MA! You’re doing it wrong. MA! etc.) Charming.*

*I mean, yes, this is a different strokes for different folks situation, but all I know is that if the Madre volunteered to unpack and set up my kitchen for me, I would be all: YES PLEASE. But that is just me. And I also know she would do an awesome job.

I’m going back and forth on this one people.

The Boyfriend has had a horrible, horrible week at work this week. We are talking insane levels of ridiculousness here – I don’t think he got home before 1:30 a single night this week and there were two nights where it was definitely more like 3:30. In contrast, I’ve had a pretty easy week after my craziness of the previous three weeks. So I completely understand that he is suffering and tired and miserable and I feel bad about that.

I am having a joint birthday bar gathering for myself (Happy Belated Birthday Self!) and one of my girlfriends from work (and it looks like, even though he will be working up until the start, he will make it. I told him he doesn’t have to come  because I do know he’s exhausted and needs sleep, but he said he will try and be there and I am glad about that because he invited a lot of his friends (as I like to call them, my friends-through-the-Boyfriend) and while I am quite fond of most of them, they’re not really my friends and I know most of them are really coming to see the Boyfriend and so I don’t really feel like dealing with that potential awkwardness on my own.

But anyway, despite the fact that work is crazy crazy insane, the Boyfriend is taking tomorrow morning and afternoon off (how sad is it when you have to use the phrase “taking off” in regards to a Sunday?) to move his sister. That is a story and a half in and of itself, one that will get it’s own post one of these days, but ultimately the point is that that is his number one priority.

So I have things outside of work going on these days as well, all leading up to an announcement of some VERY BIG NEWS that I hope to share at the end of next week as long as all goes well and there has been some prep work necessary. This needs to be done by tomorrow and the Boyfriend has been promising and promising he would help me with it today.

I’m sure you see where this is going.

When he got up this morning, he said it wasn’t happening because he had to work all day. And I get that, really do. And this is something I could do on my own, but really wanted his help with.

So I was a brat and was pissy this morning. I tried to explain that I was just really frustrated with the situation and he told me I was selfish. I recognize that there is some truth to that, but at the same time, it doesn’t change that I was counting on him and he knew I was counting on him and I guarantee you that even if work calls tomorrow and is like “Screw your “family thing.” Get into work ASAP” he won’t go until every last thing is complete and perfect for his sister. And I KNOW that right now work needs to come before everything else, but it just doesn’t feel quite fair.

So he called a bit ago and told me that when things are hard for him, I need to be more supportive or else it’s not fair to him and I do understand his point, but I don’t know that burying how I feel is fair to me either.

So that’s where we are right now. I’m frustrated and annoyed and not sure if I’m being a 100% unreasonable bitch or if how I feel is actually okay and valid. Clearly tonight is looking like a super-fun night. Awesome.

And I’m DONE! I think the final went pretty well yesterday, but it was incredibly long so by the time it was all over and done all I had the energy to do last night was sit on the couch and watch the Amazing Race finale from Sunday with my friend D and drink beers. The last couple of days are also really catching up with me – I didn’t sleep well Sunday night because of the standard “what if I sleep through my alarm and miss my exam” panic (never-you-mind that my exam was at 1:30) and last night I couldn’t fall asleep because, despite the beers, I was still all hyped up with exam adrenaline. So now I’m tired. I wanted to go to yoga tonight, but I’m not sure that I’m going to leave work in time. 

I remembered Sunday night that I had an update on the Q situation for you all that I find quite amusing/disturbing, but I had already posted, what?, 3 times on Sunday and decided I should make some pretense of actually studying. Although he has still not told M of his intention to break up with her, he is apparently acting not only like they have broken up and started doing so right around when he told the boyfriend of his decision, but also is acting like M broke up with him. When Q was visiting the boyfriend he and the boyfriend went to the same bar that we went to with the boyfriend’s ex-office mate Friday night. When we were there, the same bartender was there and came over to ask about Q – turns out Q spent the whole night flirting with her. In addition, he annoyed everyone in the bar by hijacking the jukebox to play maudlin “breakup music” all night (including repeating certain songs as he felt he needed them). Apparently Stevie Nicks is the only woman that truly understands Q – and Silver Springs is the only song that truly speaks to where Q is now. Awesome. Poor M.

So the boyfriend and I were talking more last night about the Q/M thing (because it’s really two bad because M is very sweet and nice and all of Q’s previous girlfriends have been horrible bitches to him – he seems drawn to women that will cheat on him or use him to cheat on their husbands who are overseas in Iraq and he will only find out when said soldier hubby gets back and decides to hunt Q down). Apparently, my concern over the facebook pictures was totally unwarranted (My line of thinking was that if he was going to dump her immediately, it would suck to have happy pics of them taunting her from facebook. Although I suppose there are many, many happy pictures of them on facebook so that is going to be a problem even without my recent contributions). Anyway, turns out that even though Q has decided that even if he loves M, he’s not in love with her and that they should break up, it’s a really uncomfortable thing for him to bring up, so he’s just going to wait until she suggests that they move in together and then drop the bomb on her because she will have opened the door to talking about their relationship. This is not theoretical – Q knows M’s lease is up in a few weeks and she has been dropping hints, so he’s just going to wait it out. Which, although I like Q, just plain sucks. I tried to convey that to the boyfriend – that perhaps if Q feels this way, then it might be better to make the break now, instead of lulling her into thinking that he’s going to be all: of course let’s move in together! when in reality he’s going to be like: not only do I not want to live with you, but I think we need to break up – but the boyfriend was firmly on Q’s side of putting off the unpleasantness until M forces the topic. Poor girl. 

Of course, even though Q has decided that he is, for all intents and purposes done with the relationship, he’ll still play along and (this is assumed – I’m not THAT nosy!) still have sex with M. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a guy friend of mine, B, a few months ago. B is a serial monogamist, but it seemed like this most recent girlfriend might be the one. So I was pretty surprised when he said they broke up. Turns out that she had been dropping hints about getting married and he realized he didn’t want to marry her. Okay, fair enough. So he told her that, but then was shocked that she dumped him (apparently he told her that even though he didn’t see a future for them, they were having fun now (i.e. he was happy getting laid) so there was no reason to break things off). 

I have to say that I do sometimes worry about this phenomenon with the boyfriend. We’ve been dating for a pretty considerable amount of time (I’ll tell the story of us in my intro post which I promise will go up sometime in the near future), long enough that we’ve been getting questions about when we’re going to get married for at least 2 years now. While I myself am still quite youthful, the boyfriend is getting old so sometimes I do wonder if he’s still in the relationship less because he loves and adores me and more because he’s afraid of having to start over. I’m not one of those girls that is dying to get married and constantly harassing the boyfriend to go buy a ring, but sometimes I wonder why when we’ve been together for so long, he still doesn’t know if I’m the one (he “loves me so much” but is still trying to figure out what he wants – this is a very oversimplified telling of the story and I’m sure we’ll come back to this later, so lest you all think I’m delusional and being strung along, please know that that is not the case and it is all a bit more complicated than that), when we both have friends who meet and are married within a year. I don’t want to get married now, but it might be nice to be asked.  

 

*Note: I know you can never know what goes on in somebody’s else relationship and my relationship with the boyfriend can be pretty weird in its own way, but knowing Q, I definitely am getting the vibe that this is a “grass is greener” situation. Basically, even though M is smart and nice, I think he thinks he can do better. So if you know any supermodels interested in a sarcastic 5’5″ manboy, please point them my way so I can send them on to Q.

**Note 2: This is not idle speculation on my part. This is perhaps not giving you all the best impression of the boyfriend and I promise he is fundamentally a very good guy, but one of their friends, E,  (not an inner circle friend, but a friend nonetheless) has been dating a girl for over a year that NO ONE has ever met because he doesn’t think she’s pretty enough. It’s very SATC, secret sex, except for the fact that they actually live together. All the boys claim they think its shady and E’s an ass, but then they laugh about him being shady and an ass. It should also be added that E is no Brad Pitt himself.

About 2 weeks ago the boyfriend and I went to a baseball game with some friends including a friend couple, Q&M. The boyfriend (who will get a better introduction when I get around to writing that everything-you-need-to-know post) has been friends with Q since college. This is a long time considering that the boyfriend is practically ancient (just kidding! He’s only 30. Or am I kidding…). Anyway, Q moved away for a couple of years to get his master’s during which he met M and they started dating. They’ve been together probably 2 1/2 – 3 years now. 

Anyway, the boyfriend had mentioned a few months ago that he thought that Q was perhaps falling a little out of love with M (as evidenced by the fact that Q was refusing to move in with M), but it never came up again and they stayed together and were even talking a bit about moving to another city together. 

Back to the present, we all go to the baseball game, much fun is had, and we take lots of pictures which I promise to paste on facebook but don’t get around to pasting on facebook until today because HELLO? busy week. Q was visiting the boyfriend this weekend and the boyfriend just called to tell me that my timing is impeccable because Q has decided actually he doesn’t love M anymore and is going to break up with her, likely in the very, very new future. And now I have posted all of these happy couple pics online that M has tagged herself in and that are all over feeds and profile pages and all that fun stuff. 

And now I feel bad, but obviously can’t do anything because, talk about making a bad situation worse. I really wish the boyfriend had not decided to share this with me.