So this is what I spent the last four days looking at:

beach

Gorgeous, right? And we had a great time. Once I have all our pics organized, I will do a photo post about the trip and tell you all about it, including exactly which beach this is. Until then, I take all guesses πŸ™‚

Today, however, I’m looking at this:

kleenex

I know, I know. Totally gross and for that I apologize. Dating back to high school, I always seem to catch cold right after finals/periods of lots of stress. So it’s really no big shocker that I would get struck down by a cold bug post-Bar. I’m just glad it waited until we got back from vacation!

Anyway, in addition to the vacation post, I’m also working on getting caught up with the posts that were in the pipeline pre-Bar, so we’ll have lots to talk about from here on out. For right now though, I think it may be nap time. Or go turn the bathroom into a steam room-time. Whichever.

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So as you’ve noticed, my posting has really fallen off over the last week or so. As I am now in super-intense, the Bar is my LIFE (and it sucks), I dream of the law, etc. mode now, I am officially going into blackout mode from now until the whole damn thing is over. You really should stick around until then because when I am normal (and can have alcohol!), I am really much more fun and less completely insane bitchy. There will be a post this week because I am participating in the 20sb blog exchange (click on the link on the right for more info about 20sb), I will be on twitter, and there may be a post here or there, but otherwise, this is GO TIME people.

I will try and post after the Bar, but as I plan on consuming ridiculous amounts of alcohol after day 2 and the boyfriend and I are going away on our top-secret post-bar (and, as it turns out, post-CFA results) trip (FYI, if you are not following me on twitter, I have a passport again! US DOS ROCKS), that may not happen. Or it may happen and it may be completely incoherent. We shall see. Otherwise, I will see you all on the flip side right around August 3rd.

xo,

fifi

PS I probs. will twitter Top Chef again, but we all know those are cheater posts and don’t really count.

***WARNING! BORING POST ABOUT STUDYING FOR THE BAR/LAW SCHOOL/FIFI LOSING HER MIND***

In theory, I should feel like I am slowly but surely inching my way towards having this whole NY Bar thing under some semblance of control (See all those qualifiers right there? That would be because I am INSANELY superstitious about these things and am terrified of jinxing myself). And it seems like, in theory, some things are clicking (You need physical injury for negligent infliction of emotional harm! Every dog gets one bite! etc. etc.).

Today I did a big chunk of practice questions. The thing about Bar.Bri/the bar is that they tell you to aim for being mediocre because that’s all you really need to pass. Which, fair enough. Each set for each subject area was 36 questions (the multi.state exam tests on six subject areas: Con. Law, Contracts, Crim. Law, Evidence, Real Property, and Torts) and Bar.Bri is happy if you get between 16 and 18 right in each section. My breakdown was: Con. Law: 20 right, Contracts: 14 rights, Crim. Law: 14 rights, Evidence: 23 right, Real Property: 26 right, and Torts: 22 right. Which is all very well and good, except normally Contracts and Crim. Law are my strongest (everything is relative here) subjects and that, coupled with the fact that I feel like I’m just kind of guessing/going with my gut about 90% of the time, leads me to believe that everything thus far is just a fluke and in no way reflects how I’m going to do on the real thing.

And I HAVE to pass the real thing. If you are not up on the legal hiring market these days, let me tell you that it is essentially the same as the job market everywhere, meaning, it sucks due to the economy. So I am very lucky because I have a job, but that job seems rather tenuous these days. And I HAVE to keep my job because I have six figures of debt from law school. It’s ugly.

Some thoughts/words of wisdom for the night before I retreat back into studying: I benefited a lot in going to school where I went to school. Although it gets bashed a lot of ATL (likely for this very reason), the G.town name does carry weight. And that weight translates into (at least in the past – not sure how it is working for current interviewing rising 2L) job opportunities. Maybe G.town is not going to get you the best clerkship in the world, but in the BigLaw world it gets a lot of respect that other schools don’t. I had 11 job offers from really good firms (not the BEST, but close) when I did EIW. One of the boyfriend’s friends went to American. He was my year. He was Law Review, top 5% of his class (I was not either one of those things). He had no offers. Did comparatively deserve my offers? Probably not. Life is not fair.

That said, was G.town worth it? I have a RIDICULOUS amount of debt – debt that will take me at least 5 years to pay off (I am very lucky in that I have no undergrad debt – thanks mom and dad!). What’s frustrating about the amount of debt that I have is that there is really nothing I could have done to make it less. I worked my first year of law school and went to school at night. Certainly I could have kept doing that, but in the long run, I decided that it would be more practical to graduate in three years instead of four. Because I worked for G.town, I did get a tuition break, (although I was taxed at 40% on that tuition break, so it’s not as good of a deal as it sounds), and my living expenses were pretty much covered. I lived very reasonably throughout law school and definitely stayed on a budget.* And still I have six figures of debt, the bulk of which is tuition costs. So while going to G.town definitely helped me get a job, it also ensured that I would need that Big.Law job in order to pay G.town back. Perfect circle right there folks.

So we now end where we started: with a fifi freakout. I have a feeling there are going to be many more of these over the next 2 weeks.

*You may be wondering about scholarships. That is where going to somewhere like UVA would have been a better choice. First off, G.town does not offer any grants (scholarships) based on merit, everything is need-based. In order to apply for this aid, no matter what your living situation (you could be married and have your own kids), you have to submit your parents’ (including stepparents and non-custodial parents, as per the G.town website) financial information and that information is then factored into the calculations. So even though I was completely independent/supporting myself when I applied to law school, my parents make enough money that I was closed out of being eligible for any grants. Second, these grants are not available to part-time students.

In contrast, the boyfriend got over $10,000 a year from UVA just for being smart and doing well on the LSATs. Cost of living was also much cheaper in Charlottesville and UVA tuition was less as well. I decided to stay at G.town mostly because I thought I wanted to keep working, but in retrospect, going to another school or Β even transferring probably would have been a better choice financially.

Peeps, I am feeling overwhelmed. VERY overwhelmed. Maybe this is the normal pre-Bar freakout, but I just feel like there is SO much to know and there is no way to know it all.

We had the simulated MBE on Monday and I did well in theory. I finished with an hour to spare on both sections (that’s just how I work on these things. It’s not ideal, but I find that if I go back and check my answers, I end up going away from my gut and bad things happen. On the practice, I did that on a couple of questions I wasn’t sure about and on all of them ended up changing from the right answer to a wrong answer). Anyway, the average score on the simulated test was a 105 and they say if you are at least in the 90s you’ll be fine. I got a 114, so that’s decent, but here’s the thing: I feel like it’s a complete fluke. I can’t explain it any better than that.

I am worried.

So here is the deal, peeps. The boyfriend is INCREDIBLY sweet and decided to plan a little beach getaway for us the weekend after the bar. Right after he took the bar, he hopped a plane with some friends and went to Ireland and it was kind of an unmitigated disaster that resulted in the boyfriend, because he was the only one who could drive stick, driving around Ireland the entire time while the other three pretty much slept the whole time and some other issues which then resulted in some not speaking to each other for awhile after the trip. (I have some emails that went between the four of them during the planning stage and they are HILARIOUS. Once this whole Bar thing is over, I will find them and post them, redacted of course πŸ™‚ ). Anyway, afterwards, he said all he really wanted to do post-Bar was just go hang out on a beach somewhere, which leads us to this trip.

He told me that he was doing this a couple of weeks ago, but wouldn’t tell me where we were headed, just that it was in the U.S. (I had guessed Bermuda because it is close to NY and easy to get there and I know he has been dying to play golf there). Anyway, we were chatting tonight and he said he was about to buy our tickets and I made some comment about how it was good we were staying in the U.S., since it turned out my passport expired last week (I knew it was about to expire, but completely forgot about it – blame finals/graduation/studying/etc.). AND HE FREAKED OUT (my new guess, fyi, is Mexico), which led to a flurry of internet searching and researching at which point we discovered that we are JUST on the cusp of the 2-3 weeks they are saying it now takes if you pay for the expedited service.* So I have filled out all the paperwork, written a check, and gathered up my old passport** in preparation for a trip first thing tomorrow morning before class to CVS for photos and then on to the post office to overnight my application to Philly.

The fact that I have to do all of this is actually kind of ironic because back when I had a real job, part of my job involved working with passports and visas and me lecturing my kids to “BE PREPARED!” and “STAY ON TOP OF THINGS!” so I wouldn’t have to write the letter to the US Passport Agency in DC begging them to give my lazy forgetful student a passport within 48 hours (as I invariably had to do for at least one student every semester). Clearly, I am awesome at taking my own advice.

Now am off to do an emergency eyebrow plucking pre-passport photo*** as I have been lazy completely focused on studying and let them fill in a bit too much.

*Which, by the way, is an additional $60 for the service and $14.85 to have the passport overnighted back to you (in for a penny, in for a pound at this point) on top of the $75 it costs to get the passport in the first place. Passports are expensive as it turns out.

**I may have photocopied all the pages. What? I had some cool stamps. And I am sappy like that πŸ™‚

***The boyfriend actually suggested that I go tonight and get the photos done, to which I responded something along the lines of, “do you know me at all?!” (To which he told me I am being HM-high maintenance). This is a picture I will be stuck with for 10 years, which means there are makeup considerations, clothing considerations, hair considerations. I am not going there all sweaty and gross post-gym. Boys.