Or, as the boyfriend calls it, an example of the Bro seeing how the other half lives (I think he means the non-athletes, but I will ask him to clarify).

My brother has decided that he wants to try and go to law school. To which I say: NOOOOOO!!!!! SAVE YOUR MONEY. ABORT. ABORT. ABORT. Awesome. Goals are good. Anyway, as such, he has decided to go out for Moot Court.

I got this text from him a short time ago as he attended the first meeting (All typos are his own) :

“im at the mock trial meeting and these kids are so obnoxiously nerdy. like they all keep talking about how many times theyve been to nationals for mock trial. i thought it was a club not a sport and theres tryouts. how do u try out for this?”

It is kind of adorable, no?

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It has been a LONG week. And a very hard week.

On Sunday, we found out that one of my brother’s friends committed suicide Saturday night. The wake was Tuesday so I drove down to Columbus and picked up my brother. He was/is a wreck. He kept asking me if they knew why his friend did it. There are no answers. And even if there were answers, there’s no good answer. The funeral was yesterday.

The whole thing is horrible and tragic. There are just no words.

Subtitle:

“Moving A Queen Box Spring Up a Teeny-Tiny Extremely Narrow Set of Stairs That a Full Box Spring (the Bro’s) Just Barely Fit Up”

Subtitle 2:

“I Wanted A Hot Dog, Not A Hamburger”

Document1Mattress moving step twoMattress moving step three

The background you need here is that it was Zack’s (the Bro’s friend and the now former owner of the queen box spring) dad’s idea to break the box spring in the first place (and my dad went right along for the ride). The moms suggested things like, say, going to the Lowe’s 5 minutes away and buying a saw, but Zack’s dad saw no reason they couldn’t just snap it over the edge of the porch.

The hot dog vs. hamburger comment stemmed from the fact that Zack thought they were going to break the bed lengthwise. Instead, his dad broke it widthwise. Zack repeated this comment multiple times in varying tones of shock and disbelief. (The picture in the middle above is actually an attempt to break it lengthwise, after Zack’s dad and my dad had already broken it widthwise). What you can kind of see in the background of that picture is my dad, Zack’s dad, Zack’s mom, and my mom sitting on one edge of the box spring while Zack and my brother attempted to snap it again. The whole thing was, of course, awesome and hilarious and the highlight of moving day for me.

Which, just in case it was not clear, to update you all, I spent Wednesday in Columbus helping the parents and the Bro move into his house at Ohio State. Monday & Tuesday were spent getting ready for the move (note: Target furniture is kind of impossible and overly difficult to put together and, therefore, kind of sucks), which is why I have not yet written about the weekend. I’m going to IKEA tomorrow to get furniture for my as-yet-unselected apartment, but will try and update again sometime tomorrow night. We shall see. I may come home so enamored with my Hemnes that I will feel the urge to put it together immediately. To know Hemnes is to love Hemnes.

I have been a horrible blogger lately. Awful. And the worst thing is, I have tons of stuff to write about and it’s all just floating around my head making me crazy.

Basically, I have been doing a lot of this lately:

Sails

but there’s also been a lot of running around to get my brother ready for school. In fact, I am headed outside now to start spray painting some of the furniture we have cobbled together from friends and family to help him deck out his house.

(No picture available of fifi spray painting. Probably for the best)

Let us all hope that this adventure into painting turns out better than the last big project I took on, i.e. the one in which I painted the crown molding in my brother and my bathroom and it turned out GREAT except for the part where the painters’ tape took off the paint on the walls in large chunks. And where I accidentally painted the ceiling.

Anyway, fingers crossed.

(Then tomorrow I am off to a wedding in STL, but hopefully things will start to get back to normal as of Monday).

My friend J was in town last night visiting his mom for the weekend so we met up to see (500) Days of Summer and grab a bite to eat. J and I go WAAAAYYY back – we went to preschool together so we have known each other practically all our lives. J actually lives in New York and I had actually just seen him while I was in New York last, but it was nice to have some time to just chat one on one (the last couple of times we’ve seen each other, we’ve been with the boyfriend and J’s boyfriend, Nick).

The movie was cute, but not particularly memorable. I went into the movie really wanting to love it/want to see it immediately again/come out of it wanting to place my pre-order for the DVD on Amazon, for several reasons (including, but not limited to, the fact that the trailer looked great and that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is one of my top-10 movies) but, unfortunately it just wasn’t that great. There were parts (like the IKEA scenes) that we pretty perfect, but really just served to make you think of what the movie could have been with a little bit better screenplay. I didn’t necessarily have a problem with the fact that Zooey Deschanel’s character was pretty one dimensional, as other reviewers have had, (why does she act the way she does? I have no idea), because the story wasn’t really a story of boy and girl, but really just boy. My problem was that boy wasn’t a fully fleshed out character either. I thought the movie relied too much on gimmicks like animation, a quirky soundtrack and the omnipresent narrator at the expense of plot development.

Also, I don’t know if it was because of all the Inglorious Basterds posters around the theater, but the filmmakers here used an instrumental snippet repeatedly throughout the movie to introduce key scenes that, every single time, made me think of Tarrentino and Kill Bill and kind of took me out of the movie because part of me was expecting the characters to engage in a vicious and bloody (but beautifully choreographed and filmed) showdown. Anyone else? Or just me?

Anyway, even though the movie was not all I hoped it would be, it was still a perfectly nice way to pass a Saturday evening. Afterwards, J and I went to a winebar by the theater (we were at Crocker for all you Cleveland-ers) and got dinner and chatted. J is in in the process of deciding whether or not he wants to go back to school so we talked about that for awhile and we discussed our respective relationships. J and Nick live together and J finds it very upsetting (in a very cute, older brother protective kind of way) that the boyfriend and I will not be living together when I move to New York in a couple of weeks because he thinks it should have been a foregone conclusion that the boyfriend should have asked me to live with him since we have, in J’s words, been together FOREVER and that it what happy couples do. I will confess that I was a little upset about the boyfriend’s lack of interest in living together at first, but now I do think living apart is for the best. We’re in something of a holding pattern with our relationship these days in terms of the future (I’m getting tired of the “and when are you two finally going to get married?” questions) and just in case something were to happen and we were to break up, it will be better if we have our own places. And if we are completely happy, then it’s only a year. Plus, I am starting to look forward to finding a place and getting new furniture (I sold pretty much everything in DC if you will recall), so I do think this is for the best. But the boyfriend is a little bit on J’s bad list right now.

It was a lovely and relaxing night, which then, as you know if you follow me on Twitter, ceased to be relaxing when I returned home to find my brother throwing a party for 20 or so of his nearest and dearest (the parents stayed on Catawba for the night to go out with their friends and while the cat’s away…). Highlights of my night cleaning up a six pack of beer that was dropped and shattered on the tile floor at 2 am and convincing one of the bro’s friends that the backyard was not an ideal place to sleep and I could provide him with a nice aerobed instead. Being the grownup was totally not fun (I think I was cranky last night while Twitter-ing because I just felt so damn old and boring) – I would have much rather been part of the beer pong tournament, but sadly was not asked to participate (I do recognize that that was completely inappropriate. I have mad beer pong skills though).

The bro and his friends seemed to have a good time and the bro was very good about cleaning up this morning, so all in all, it could have been much worse. I ended up only getting about 4 hours of sleep which is less fun when you get no benefit from your lack of sleep (besides big sister brownie points, I guess). However, next time I stay up until 4 am, I want it to be because I am drinking and having fun, not because I am playing chaperone!

Background: I got a call this evening from my friend Jill in which she was basically like “Dude. Your brother is dead. Go on facebook ASAP” (Jill is friends with the Bro on facebook). I do, because if nothing else, I enjoy a little sibling schadenfreude from time to time and discover that the Bro has posted pictures of him and his friends playing beer pong (or beirut as we called it in college) when he has specifically been forbidden to have people in the house/parties (my parents know the Bro will drink and allow it under controlled circumstances, but are pretty much on the your-friends-can’t-drink-here-until-everyone-is-21 train). That’s not the best part though. The parentals will be very angry about this (trust issues and such), but not like they will be about the next part. They were playing beer pong directly (i.e. with no towels/tablecloth/etc) on the parentals’ formal dining room table which sits on very lovely, pretty new-ish hardwood floors.*

Background, pt. 2: The Madre is on facebook. Supposedly for work, but anyone who knows mothers anywhere knows that she does a fair amount of checking up on the Bro. And me, most likely.

So, SCENE:

fifi: You need to pull down those pictures from facebook before Mom sees them and kills you.

The Bro: Which pictures? (The fact that he has to ask this should tell you something about what he posts on facebook. A highlight from before this was when he posted pictures of him and his friends on their way back from Canada where they had purchased fake ids, titled “Us on the way back from Canada with our fake ids.” Kid’s a genius, clearly).

fifi: The ones of you all playing flip cup on the dining room table. (Okay, I know. I knew it was beirut, but “flip cup” came out. I am clearly old/burnt out from the practice MBE this morning).

The Bro: (said with the dripping disdain that only an extremely annoying younger sibling can manage) It was beer pong. DUH.

fifi: AND…I abandon you to your fate.

*I have checked and the Bro/girls he conned into helping clean up did a decent job of cleaning up. No stains, but some definite sticky areas that I would have dealt with, except for the new “abandoning to fate” policy.

This time I got to transport the 20 year old boys, while the parents took the cats. The boys at least were MUCH less vocal when they did not appreciate a song choice 🙂
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